A miracle is a shift in perspective
A Course In Miracles says, "A miracle is a shift in perspective." The shift of perspective that saved my life, and that I use as the basis of my work, is that life is always happening FOR us instead of TO us. When we decide, and really all it is a decision, to see life is happening for us instead of to us, life opens up for us in miraculous ways and the connections our souls crave begin appear.
What I also know for sure at this juncture on my journey is that the connections we have in our lives are everything. When we honor them, put time, attention, and conscious action toward them, our world fills with love. You can read all of the books, go to all of the lectures, but it’s when you take responsibility, initiative and action that a miraculous transformation unfolds.
The reason I am so passionate about helping people reconnect with themselves and their world is because I know the deep, deep pain and suffering that occurs when we are in disconnection. I am a story teller, so I will tell you my story, in hopes that you will be able to see the grand potential that is available to you in every moment when you make the decision to commit to yourself. And lastly, before I begin, my greatest wish is that you know, in every cell of your body, that you are worthy, you are so incredible, and in just being who you are, you are whole, eternal and complete.
I didn’t have the greatest childhood, I felt like I was born into the wrong family. I truly believed that some people were born with a black cloud over their heads and destined for a life of hardship, and others were born with luck on their side, and then, only then, could you have a life of joy and ease. And my deep belief was that I had a big black cloud over my head.
Then when I was 16, I found musical theater and I felt like for the first time I finally fit it. I finally felt a connection with other people. At age 17, I read the Celestian Prophecy. And oh my goodness, I felt a massive returning home and it all began to make sense. It was then I stepped onto the path of consciousness. I started to religiously dive into the works of Marianne Williamson, Caroline Myss and Tony Robbins. They became my teachers. I found a connection with this part of me that LOVES to learn about personal development. It basically became my job to gather this information and apply it, which has been a windy and interesting road.
It wasn’t like I stepped on, found G-d and then all was juicy and good. Not at all. Instead I went away to college and was pretty much blasted drunk for 2 years, and finally made myself leave early because I realized it wasn’t doing me any good. I got into the fitness industry at age 20, was waiting tables, and had a part time gig doing Public Relations for Aveda. I became a workaholic. Then after my first real break up at 21, I began to drink again, heavily. I would work 14 hour days during the week and on the weekends get so drunk that some nights I would wake up and not know where I was. Again, I had a wake up call, divine intervention and new something needed to change.
I eventually made it to Chicago where I became a vegan and eventually a raw foodist, remained a workaholic, was celibate for 3 years and didn’t touch a morsel of chocolate or a lick of alcohol, and then eventually became completely anorexic. I was so disconnected from myself, my body, Spirit, my family and my friends. I was truly cut off. For me, the anorexia was about cleansing me of my past. My belief was that if I could just get thin enough, perfect enough, then maybe I would be good enough and lovable and eventually feel the deep connection I was craving. Until one day, once again, divine intervention occurred, although at the time, it felt like there was nothing divine about it. I started to binge eat and could not stop. In a month I gained 43 pounds! My worst nightmare had come true. I was fat, with cottage cheese thighs, a plumped up face, and just ugly. No one would ever love me. I attempted to commit suicide. I broke a glass, took the glass to slit my wrist and the next thing I remember was I was on the phone calling my friend telling her and she came right over. I have absolutely no recollection of how I got from sitting with the broken glass on my wrist to the phone. Again, divine intervention?? Needless to say, the journey of self love and acceptance at that point was a bumpy road of binging eat, running, hiding, massive internal criticism and judgement.
Now rewind for a moment, one place that I had always felt connection from when I was a little girl was with the stars and planets. I had gotten into astrology, and between the time of when I was about 15 to 25, I had had a few readings and twice I had people that would not read my chart. They literally said, "no, sorry." Instantly, the meaning I created in my head was, ‘OH MY GOSH!! My life is that bad?!!’ And that became my truth, for whatever meaning we give anything, it becomes. It only validated my belief as a little girl that some people were born with a black cloud over their head.
Fast forward again, years later, after the dark night of the soul with the binging, I had my astrological chart read. And again, it was a tough read where basically they were saying, yep, you have got a lot of hard stuff to work through. And then it hit me. I remembered some things all of the teachers I had been studying with share in their own way, ‘What if we chose this life? What if we chose our parents? We are never given anything in life we cannot handle. What if we were actually given everything in every moment we can handle? Then it hit me, what if I chose my chart? What if I chose to come into this lifetime, into a family where not only I didn’t feel connected, but I didn’t feel supported. What if I chose to grow up in a town, where I wasn’t like all of the others? What if I chose to have the eating disorder and all of the other things that I had experienced in my life IN ORDER TO grow a deeper, unconditionally loving connection with myself, and the journey to myself were a vehicle to support others who were experiencing similar disconnections, disease and pain?
Then it happened. I made a choice. I chose this life because I CAN handle it. I chose to shift my perspective from, life is happening TO me, to life is happening FOR me. And in that instant, my life changed. Something inside of me switched, it clicked. Something inside of me woke up and started to contemplate that maybe I WAS worthy. And although at that moment it was just a flicker, that was all I needed. And over the next 12 years, I made a deeper committed commitment to myself to see life from that perspective.
I can stand here in this moment and say that I believe and KNOW that I am a beautiful, magnetic, infectious and inspiring woman, not only worthy, but capable of loving my life, thriving in life, and there is nothing I have to ‘do’ in order to experience that. It is just in who I am.
Two of my top values are connection and contribution. I am committed to supporting others in creating fulfilling and thriving connections in life, because for me through the different experiences I have shared with you above, these connections are what saved me. Creating healthy connections with Spirit, myself, believing eyes (quality friendships), my body, my career, my past, my parents, all of it, are the greatest gifts that I could have ever been given. Just to be clear, yes, these gifts were always available to me, but I had to meet Spirit half way. I had to choose it and then show up fully to remove the limiting beliefs and nurture the wounded parts of me in order to experience it. That is the work my friends, and I am passionately committed to share what I have learned with you. That is a choice on your part. Choose you. Join me in living an extraordinary life. Let’s play BIG together in this lifetime!